Dealing With the Pain
by worldssockrocker
Summary: Draco continues living for one reason. but what happens when that reason is gone? will harry be able to help him before its to late? some dmhp
1. chp1 Saying Goodbye

Dealing With the Pain  
  
A/n this story will be told by Draco mainly. So if you don't see a name assume it's from his pov. There may be some DM/HP stuff going on, so if you have a problem with that kind of stuff don't read it.  
  
Disclaimer- I own none of the characters or places you don't recognize. I do however own the plot. Yay!  
  
Chapter one-Saying Good-bye  
  
I knelt down on the mossy ground. Running my hand across the smooth stone in front of me, I choked back a sob. I was in danger of being killed just by being here. If father found out I'd be dead for sure. But I didn't care. I didn't matter to me, nothing mattered to me anymore. Anyways, I was dead for all intents and purposes. Just because you are walking and breathing and your heart is beating doesn't mean you're, alive does it?  
  
"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" A voice behind me growled. Slowly I turned around. Potter and Weasley stood three feet away from me. Figures.  
  
"What do you want?" I drawled.  
  
"We want to know why you're here," Weasly spat.  
  
"I am here because I can be here. I am here because I love her," I replied curtly.  
  
"Ron, he does have the right to be here. Even if you don't want him to be here she probably would. Can't you just leave him alone for once?" Harry asked, obviously trying to keep me and Ron from fighting. Which was fine by me. I wasn't in the mood to fight. Actually I wasn't in the mood to do anything but die.  
  
"Thanks, Potter." I muttered quietly. I doubt he heard me though. I turned my back to them and continued staring at the stone in front of me. I could feel their glares on my back, piercing through me. I turned around to tell them to sod off. To my surprise Ron was the only one glaring at me. Harry was looking at me with pity. No, not pity, more like sorrow.  
  
"Ron, we should be getting back to Hogwarts soon. We only have five more minutes here. You should go back to the coach. I'll be there in a minute, ok?" Harry asked.  
"Yeah, ok. Hurry up though. We will get detention for a week if we are late getting back," Ron said before hurrying back to the coach, that would take the three of us back to Hogwarts. Hogwarts had been "on-brake", as the teachers called it, since I had found her, three nights ago. I shook my head. I didn't want to think of that night, it was too painful.  
  
"Hey Dra-Malfoy," Harry said coming over to kneel down beside me.  
  
"What do you want?" I ask suspiciously. We had been enemies for the past seven year. We just didn't walk up to each other. Something had to be going on here. My eyes narrowed.  
  
I Just wanted to say I'm sorry, about what happened. I know Hermione meant a lot to you, and you to here. And just as a warning, basiclly all of Gryffindor, except me and Ginny, think that you played some major part in all this. Because you were the first to know and all."  
  
"How come you and Ginny don't think that?"  
  
"We knew Hermione. She told us everything."  
  
"Oh"  
  
We sat in silence for several minutes. Just kind of starting and reminiscing.  
  
"If you ever need someone to talk to I am here. I know we aren't exactly friends," I snorted. "ok, well we pretty much hate each other and all, but I'm here to talk to," he finished, very embarrassed.  
  
"Thanks Potter. I will keep that in mind."  
  
"We probably should go. Ron was right, we probably will get detention if we are late getting back."  
  
I nodded. "I'll be there in a minute. I just want to say-" I cut off shaking my head. "I will be there in a minute," I repeated. I really wasn't looking forward to the hour long carriage ride back to Hogwarts with Weasley and Potter.  
  
"Ok, remember what I said." He stayed kneeling next to me for a minute, before slowly standing and walking away.  
  
"Good-bye Hermione. I wish you knew how much I loved you. I'm sorry for anything I ever did to you. I love you." I whispered placing the rose I had been holding on the mound of dirt in front of me. Taking one last look at the inscription on Hermione's head stone I sighed. "Death cannot stop true love. What it can do is delay it for awhile." I hope she was right. I stood up and walked away. My heart breaking once again. Saying good-bye isn't as east as I thought it would be.  
////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\////\\\\////\\\\////\\\\\ a/n- sorry for the short chapter. I'll try and make them longer. I don't know how often I'll be updating because school is starting back up and I'm also writing another ff. I'm hoping to update about once a week. Please review! I wanna know what you think. 


	2. chp 2 reliving hell

Chapter two- Reliving Hell ~dream~ *thought*  
  
Disclaimer- I own none of the characters or places. Sob* sob*. I do own the plot though.  
  
A/n-this story is based on suicide and suicide attempts. If that disturbs you then I advise you not to read this.  
  
"Mr. Malfoy, the headmaster wishes to see you in his office after class," Snape's voice brought me back to reality.  
  
"Sorry, sir, what was that?"  
  
"I said the headmaster wishes to speak with you after class," Snape said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Yes sir," I said sighing deeply. I had been avoiding this for the last week. But seeing as today classes resumed, well I couldn't hide in my room all day. Trust Dumbledore to ruin the first way back.  
  
I shot Potter a meaningful look, quickly turned into a scowl as Weasley looked over at me. I had talked to him once since our visit to the cemetery. He agreed to come with me to Dumbledore's office when I was called.  
  
Twenty minutes later I was heading back to my common room. Potions had been very long today. I received a failing mark for the first time in my life. My anti-gravity potion would do almost anything except defy gravity.  
  
"Pixie sticks," I muttered to the portrait of King Richard (a/n I'm watching Robin Hood) that was outside my common room. As head boy I shared a private suite with the head girl. Or I had shared it with the head girl. But with Hermione gone there was no longer a head girl. The password was her idea. Pixie sticks were her favourite muggle candy. I had to remember to change that.  
  
After waiting in the common room for five minutes I started thinking Potter wasn't coming. Three minutes later he burst in panting.  
  
"Sorry, I had to explain to Flitwick(a/n is that spelled right?) why I wouldn't be in charms. Then I had to make up a bull shit excuse so Ron wouldn't insist on coming with me," he explained hurriedly. "We should go now. Professor Dumbledore was probably expected you about ten minutes ago."  
  
"Yeah ok," I said my face going visibly paler. I really didn't want to be doing this "What do we do if someone sees us together?"  
  
"We were sent to Dumbledore's office because we were err. trying to jinx each other."  
  
"God, Potter, you should be in Slytherin."  
  
We left the common room and hurried to Dumbledore's office. Thankfully we didn't run into anyone. Halfway there I stopped. All I wanted was to go back to my dorm and be left alone to wallow in my pain alone. I couldn't do this. I wasn't ready to do this. Dumbledore wanted to talk about Hermione, but I wasn't ready. I couldn't tell him what he wanted to know. I couldn't tell him about the dream. The dream in which I saw Hermione die.  
  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Potter asked me.  
  
"No, but its not like I have a choice now is it? I really doubt I can just turn around and go to class. I would probably get detention or something. Why can't Dumbledore just mind his own business? My dreams are really no concern of him. It's not like it was real or anything just a coincident," I shut up quickly. I was ranting, Malfoys do not rant. Then again Malfoys do not love either.  
  
"What are you talking about? What do your dreams have to do with anything? What was a coincident?" Potter asked. I realized I never told him why Dumbledore called me down.  
  
"The night Hermione died, I had this dream. I saw her and I saw how she died and where she died. I got worried and went to find her. I looked all over the castle and finally found her. She was in exactly the same place she was in my dream. So now Dumbledore wants to know about my dream, he says it will explain a lot," I explained.  
  
"How does Dumbledore know about your dream?" Harry asked still slightly confused.  
  
"He wanted to know how I knew where Hermione was. He didn't believe me when I said it was a lucky guess So I told him I had a dream and it showed me where she was. He said that he would need to hear about it. I told him I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. He said he understood and he would call me down to his office when the 'proper amount of time passed'. Whatever that is supposed to mean."  
  
"Err ok,"  
  
"Don't worry, it should become clearer in Dumbledore's office," I told him almost reassuringly.  
  
"Right. Well here we are," he said stopping in front of a gargoyle.  
  
"You wouldn't happen to know the password, would you?" I asked. I could not believe I forgot to get this vital piece of information from Professor Snape. Hopefully Potter would know.  
  
"Umm. Liquorice wands?" Harry said to the gargoyle, it did not move. "Chocolate frogs? Lemon drop, no that was his password in second year. Umm Bertie Botts every flavour beans?" The gargoyle sprang to life and moved aside exposing a marvellous staircase. "Odd, he hates those,"  
  
I gaped. Although I don't know why it surprised me, Potter was Dumbledore's favourite student. "How do you know that?" I asked.  
  
"He told me, when I was in the hospital wing my first year. He came across a vomit flavoured one in his youth and hasn't like them since," he replied blushing. He really needed some friends or something. No one needs to know that much information about their headmaster.  
  
"Whatever," I muttered stepping on to the staircase which magically started rising beneath me. I had never been to Dumbledore's office before and I had to admit it was pretty nice.  
  
"Hello Mr. Malfoy, I was beginning to think you weren't coming. Mr. Potter," he added slightly shocked as Harry emerged from the stairs. "I need to talk to Mr. Malfoy for a little while, if you would be kind enough to-"  
  
"I know you need to talk to Malfoy sir. That is why I am here." Harry said cutting Dumbledore off.  
  
"Oh?" Dumbledore said curiously. "Mr. Malfoy, is this true?"  
  
"Yes, sir. I figured Potter should know, seeing as he and Hermione were best friends," I said.  
  
"Perhaps I should call Mr. Weasley then. If I do remember correctly he and Miss. Granger were best friends as well, were they not?" Dumbledore suggested.  
  
"No that is ok. Potter can tell him anything he wants to know. There is no way I'm telling that bloody bastard anything," I declared.  
  
"Is that so?" Dumbledore asked. His eyes laughing.  
  
"Y-y-yes Professor," I said blushing a little. I really had to learn how to think before I started talking.  
  
"I see. Well I am assuming you know why yo are here?" Dumbledore said.  
  
"Is it about the dream sir?" I asked, praying it was about something else. Maybe mother was ill or father was thrown in jail or something like that.  
  
"That it is Mr. Malfoy," He replied.  
  
"Why sir, do you care so much about this dream? It really has no significance. And it is really none of your business," I finished letting my mouth get ahead of me again."  
  
"Mr. Malfoy, we have reason to believe that, despite what you may think, your dream actually did show the death of Hermione Granger. And I would most like to know how she died. It isn't everyday that one of my students dies. As it was obvious that she did not die of natural causes I would like to see whoever killed her punished. So if you could please relive that night for me I would be eternally grateful." He said his eyes flashing. So this is what happens when the teachers pet dies. School is closed down for a week and Dumbledore gets super pissed. To bad this didn't happen every week.  
  
"Fine," I sighed giving in. "You wanna know what happened? I will tell you what happened. Hermione and I went to bed just as we did every other night. We were in my room. We fell asleep semi-quickly. I had this dream and it really scared me.  
  
~Hermione waited until she thought I was asleep then she got up and left the room. I got out my invisibility cloak and followed her. She went into her room and got her wand from her desk. Then she left.  
  
I followed her through many hallways. We ended up outside a door to a room I didn't even know existed. She whispered the password and went in, I followed. Inside was a bed with a big stuffed animal on it. Besides it was a desk. Across from the desk was a table with a knife on it.  
  
She picked up the knife and started cutting herself with it. I wanted to stop her, but I couldn't move. It was like I became a painting on the wall or something. She started crying. I wanted to comfort her but couldn't. She sat down on the bed and started sobbing uncontrollably. She grabbed the stuffed bear and hugged it. She was whispering her fears and problems into his unhearing ears.  
  
I couldn't hear much of what she said just little bits. She was afraid she would be forgotten, she was afraid no one loved her. She thought that people just used her for her brains and could care less about the person she actually was. She was having some major family problems. Her grandparents on her mother's side hated her because she was a witch. Her cousin from America just got busted for selling and doing drugs, they were really close. Her aunt went missing three months ago and no one has seen or heard from her since. Her mum was recently diagnosed with cancer and Hermione was afraid her mum would die before she got a chance to see her again. On top of that she hadn't been doing as well on her schoolwork as she wanted to be. She got good marks, not top marks. A lot of her teachers were worried about her, She didn't know who she could tell about her problems. Potter would probably act calm and not really express any emotion, like normal. Ron would have a cow. She did not want to burden Ginny with all her problems. She didn't trust any of the teachers. And she couldn't tell me. It's not that she didn't trust me, she just couldn't tell me,"  
  
"I thought you only heard a little of what she said," Potter said.  
  
"I did. We were in that room for nearly two hours. She cut herself twice more while we were in there crying harder each time. She would heal herself after about five minutes of watching her blood flow from the cuts. Finally she put the knife in her pocket and left. There were blood stains near everywhere. I followed her. Yarely she walked down the hallway and then down two flights of stairs. We were near the charms corridor. She let herself into a room off to the right. She drew out the knife and looked at it for a couple minutes. She started crying again and then stabbed herself, first in the stomach, then in the chest, then in the neck. I cried out for her to stop but she obviously did not hear me. Before she died she made the knife disappear, so no one would find out who did it I suppose.~  
  
I woke up covered in sweat. I looked over and saw that Hermione was no longer next to me. I started to quietly having a mental breakdown. But then I thought to myself I was being silly. She was probably just in the bathroom. I lay in bed waiting for her to come back in. After five long minutes I got up to look for her. She was not in the bathroom, and the rest of the suite was deserted. I started to panic. I hurried back to my room and got dressed. Then I left and started looking for her.  
  
I searched everywhere, the towers, the grounds, the great hall, and the Gryffindor common room. Then I remembered my dream. Although I highly doubted it was true, I went down to the charms corridor. I walked into the room I had been in, in my dream and looked around. She was lying sprawled across the floor covered in blood. I ran over to her. I didn't know what to do, she was dead and you can't bring the dead back to life. So I ran to the staff room to see if anyone was up yet. Professor McGonagall was. She asked me what was wrong and I said she must hurry. I brought her down to the Charms corridor and showed her where Hermione was. She screamed and about half the staff came rushing down. I was pushed out of the way. I believe you know what happened afterwards, sir." I finished. I realized I was crying. For the first time in ten years I was crying.  
  
"I see," Dumbledore said while Harry gaped at me. I was ready to strangle Dumbledore. I had just relived the worst moment in life, my own personal hell, and all I got was an "I see"? *I'll see how well he sees when I get done with him.*  
  
Dumbledore stared into space, apparently considering what I said. After what seemed like an eternity, but was actually five minutes, he said, "Well, then. It appears to me, that Miss. Granger killed herself."  
  
"But sir she couldn't have. This is Hermione we are talking about! She was the smartest girl in our year. She would never do something like that to herself. I know she wouldn't have. Would she?" Harry ranted desperately. "There has to be another reason. Anyhow, Malfoy does not think the dream had anything to do with Hermione's death. It was just a coincidence."  
  
"Despite what Mr. Malfoy said, I believe that his dream was true. He saw Hermione the night she died. Hermione could have meant for that to happen, she is smart enough and there are such spells. Spells that make people separate from their bodies while they sleep so they can be showed something."  
  
"Is there anyway to find out if I was spelled to see this?" I asked.  
  
"Yes, if we find her wand we can see the last spells she preformed with it. I am almost positive that, if she did perform the spell, it would be there. Do you know where her wand is?"  
  
"No sir. I assume it is in her room, where the robe she had been wearing that night is. Probably in the pocket. I have not gone into her room yet though. Perhaps a house-elf would know."  
  
"I will look into it," Dumbledore replied.  
  
"Sir, don't you think it could be possible that the dream was not real. Maybe someone planted the image in his head. Like Voldemort did to me in fifth year," Harry suggested.  
  
"Yes, I suppose that is a possibility." Dumbledore said.  
  
"But if that was so, then why would she be in the exact same place, with the same wounds, and the same bloodstains on her clothing?"  
  
"Mr. Malfoy makes an excellent point. In your dream, it was in the same location, but that was all. Mr. Malfoy's dream was much more realistic. Especially after he woke up." Dumbledore stated. "Would one of you go down to the hallway of the room of requirement and ask the portraits if they saw a young girl go in there late at night a week ago?" He asked the portraits on the wall. There was a flurry of activity and five of the portraits were left empty.  
  
"You think she went to the room of requirement?" Harry asked.  
  
"Yes Harry. I am assuming since Mr. Malfoy was a school prefect for two years and is head boy, he should know the school pretty well. If there was a room of which he did not know about, it would probably be the Room of Requirement. The majority of the school does not know it exists." Dumbledore explained. I was confused, I had never heard of the Room of Requirement before.  
  
"Excuse me sir, what is the Room of Requirement? I don't believe I have ever heard of it before."  
  
"It is a room the will customize itself for the people who need to use it. If someone was wandering around at night and they had to go the bathroom and they found the room, it would be full of chamber pots," he said a sparkle in his eye. "If the person needed to study for a test they were having in class that day the room would be full of books on that subject."  
  
"How is this room found? How come I have never seen it before?"  
  
"The room is found when the person is in most dire need of it."  
  
"Oh" That would explain why I had never seen it before. I had never really been in dire need of anything.  
  
The portraits all came back at the same time, causing quite a ruckus. The eldest looking one started talking. "There was a girl seen going into the Room of Requirement a week ago. She had bushy brown hair and a very tear streaked face," he reported.  
  
"Yes, that would be Hermione. So does that mean that my dream was true, Professor?" I asked nervously.  
  
"Yes, I believe it does." He replied shortly.  
  
"So I learned several of my girlfriends problems, watched her cry for two hours, then watched her kill herself?"  
  
"Yes, it appears that way," Dumbledore said calmly.  
  
How could Dumbledore be calm now? We just learned that my girlfriend, Potters best friend, and Dumbledore's star pupil had killed herself and they were just sitting there as if nothing happened! What was there problem? They should be doing something crying or informing the parents. NOT just sitting there! Was I the only person who got what happened?  
  
"Very well sir, if that is all I think I will be going." I said curtly.  
  
"Yes, of course Mr. Malfoy," he replied. "I would like to have a word with Mr. Potter for a moment, so if you would be kind enough to wait for him outside, it would be most appreciated." I nodded getting up.  
  
Once outside the door shut magically, probably so I couldn't hear. I waited for five minutes before Potter came out, looking very grim.  
  
"What is your problem?" I snapped.  
  
"Nothing why do you think I have a problem?"  
  
"Hmm. I don't know. Maybe the look on your face." I spat at him. I really didn't want to put up with his shit today or ever actually.  
  
"I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE DEPRESSED! MY BEST FRIEND DIED A WEEK AGO AND TODAY I JUST FOUND OUT THAT SHE KILLED HERSELF! IF ANYONE YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE DEPRESSED. YOU ARE A CRUEL HEARTLESS SLYTHERIN. YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING AND YOU NEVER DID! SO STOP MOPPING AROUND PRETENDING THAT YOU CARED ABOUT HERMIONE. I'M GETTING SICK OF YOUR ACT! YOU NEVER CARED, YOU DON'T CARE NOW, AND YOU NEVER WILL CARE!" he shouted at me. I wondered how long he had been holding that in.  
  
"I CARED MORE ABOUT HERMIONE THEN I EVER CARED ABOUT ANYONE, INCLUDING MYSELF. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHO OR WHAT I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SO DON'T PRETEND YOU DO. AND I WOULD RATHER BE A CRUEL HEARTLESS SLYTHERIN THEN A STUCK UP GRYFFINDOR WHO THINKS HE KNOWS EVERYTHING BUT REALLY DOESN'T. HERMIONE WAS THE ONLY REASON I DIDN'T KILL MYSELF AND NOW SHE IS GONE. YOU DIDN'T JUST RELIVE THE MOMENT WHEN THE ONLY PERSON YOU TRULY LOVED DIED NOW DID YOU? SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" I yelled back.  
  
"No Malfoy I didn't. But I have relived that moment everyday since the end of fifth year," he hissed.  
  
"What?" I was shocked. Potter was supposed to be perfect. Although you think about the kind of stuff people say about him and the stuff he has been through.  
  
"Surprised, Malfoy? Didn't think that anyone else in the world had problems did you? Well surprise, my life isn't perfect like yours!"  
  
"My "perfect" life is just as fucked up, if not slightly more, then yours Potter. At least you have friends who care about you. You have someone to help you when things get rough. Even if you don't go to them for help, you still have them. I have never even gotten that chance. No one has ever cared about me. They just care about the little rich boy who could become the heir to darkness." I hated talking about my life, but it seemed the only way to get Potter to stop thinking that it was perfect.  
  
"What the hell do you mean by no one has ever cared about you? The whole bloody Slytherin house bows down to you!"  
  
"They don't care about me, Potter. They are scared of me. Hermione was the first and probably only person to care about me. So screw you thinking your life is sooooo fucked up. Go tell someone who cares. Go cry to your dead mummy and daddy. JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"  
  
"Sorry, Malfoy. I guess I am just you know stressed out and everything." Did he think I cared?  
  
"Whatever," I muttered. "Anyhow what did Dumbledore want with you? You were in there for like five minutes." I asked suspiciously.  
  
"Oh, err. Dumbledore wanted me to err."  
  
"Spit it out. I don't got all day you know," I snarled.  
  
"Yes, well. Professor Dumbledore thinks I should like, you know, look out for who. Make sure you don't do anything stupid or something like that." He mumbled.  
  
"HE WANTED YOU TO DO WHAT?" I roared. There was NO way that golden boy was going to be taking care of me. I could take care of myself.  
  
"HE IS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOU! HE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO DO ANYTHING STUPID. THAT'S ALL," Potter replied sharply.  
  
"He doesn't want me to do anything stupid huh? Like what?" Potter shrugged. "Maybe like this?" I asked.  
  
His eyes widened as I proceeded to draw a pocket knife out from my cloak. He lunged forward trying to grab it away from me. I yarely dodged him. He fell to the ground. I yanked my sleeve up and had cut myself five times before Potter was able to get the knife away from me.  
  
I looked down at my arm. Blood, warm and rich, was gushing down. The pain, was almost beyond any pain I had ever felt. It burned and stung slightly. The pain was delicious, I loved it. It let me know I was still alive. Something I desperately needed to reminded of. I remember seeing Potter's face. Terrified and concerned. It was oddly comforting. Then my world went black. I could see nothing, I could feel nothing, I could hear nothing. And I loved it. ///\\\///\\\////\\\///\\\//\/\\//\\\///\\\\////\\\\////\\\\///\\\////\\\\/// /\\\\///\\\///\\\  
  
a/n- please r/r. I am hoping to update soon. I already have most of the next chapter written and typed up.  
  
Cal-thanks for pointing that out. I was half asleep when I wrote it. I know lame excuse but it is true! 


	3. chp 3 breaking down

Chapter 3- Breaking Down  
  
disclaimer-i own none of characters, yada yada yada, nor any of the places, blah blah blah. I do however own the plot. which is something i guess... *** change of pov  
  
Harry's POV  
  
I watched terrified as Malfoy drew a pocket knife out of his robes. The only thing I could think was that i had to get the knife away from him. I lunged at him. Six years of Quidditch playing certainly hadn't gone to waste. He dodged with speed I didn't know he possessed. Unfortunately that meant i ended up landing face first on the ground.  
  
Malfoy waited until I had turned around, still fazed from the fall, before he started cutting himself. He cut himself slowly, almost teasingly. As if he knew i couldn't get up and was mocking me for it. He never winced in pain as he should have done. His face remained impassive, his eyes laughing. I think he was actually getting some sick pleasure from it. Either that or watching me watch him and not be able to do anything about it outweighed his pain.  
  
He had made five deep cuts before i was able to knock the blade out of his hand. Blood was racing from his body. I wasn't sure how much blood one could lose. His already paler then normal face wasn't helping me much either. But i thought he had lost quite a lot of blood. More then was safe to lose at least. He staggered back until he was pressed against the wall.  
  
"Malfoy!" I heard myself cry out as I watched him collapse. I hurried over to him. He couldn't die right now. I didn't think anyone would be able to deal with that. The Gryffindors wouldn't be able to stop celebrating. The Slytherins wouldn't be able to stop crying. And the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs would flip. They all seemed to think that the taking of ones life was wrong. They had made that very clear when Cho committed suicide the year before. 'I can't think of that now,' I reminded myself my eyes tearing over. 'Thinking of Cho isn't going to help Malfoy.'  
  
"Bye Potter," he muttered before passing out. I did the only thing I could think of doing. I sprinted up the hallways screaming for help.  
  
***Draco's POV  
  
'Where am I? Am i dead yet?' I wondered vaguely. My world was pitch black and i felt that I was floating. I was free of memories, free of pain. I must have died, for this was heaven. No pain, no memories this was bliss.  
  
Suddenly everything came rushing back to me. No, I couldn't be dead. Death didn't hurt this much. 'Note to self: tell Snape that his killing drought does not work.' I thought wryly.  
  
"Do you know what happened to him? Someone asked. I knew that voice. I heard it everyday. But who was it?  
  
" No we still cannot figure it out,' another person answered. I didn't know this voice as well as I had the first. But I still knew it. "He didn't lose enough blood to make him pass out. And he doesn't appear to be ill. We think we might have detected some poison. We're not yet sure how strong it was, how much, or what type it was. We think it may have come from your storage."  
  
"My storage? Why would you suggest something as absurd as that?" The first voice asked sounding angry.  
  
"He is your godson. Everyone knows he has access to your private stocks."  
  
Godson? So the man this lady was talking to was my godfather. But, who was my godfather? Luscious? No, that was my father. Crabbe? Goyle? No they were like my uncles. Snape? No, Snape was my potions master... Wait, yes Snape was my godfather. Now, who was he talking to?  
  
"Well how long until he is let out?" Snape asked impatiently. "Narcissa will kill me when she finds out."  
  
"I have no idea when he will be released. I must figure out what is wrong with him before i can cure him. And even after he is cured I have no idea whether or not he will be able to be released immediately."  
  
Slowly I opened my eyes. The light was blinding and increased the pain in my already pounding head. Madam Pomfrey and Snape were standing next to my bed having a very heated discussion. Wait, this wasn't my bed. It was a cot! That means i must be in the Hospital wing. Why else would a Malfoy be lying on a cot?  
  
"Professor look! He's awake," a voice beside me said. They sounded so relieved. My first thought was Hermione. Then i remembered she was dead. Anyway, that voice was too deep to be hers. Slowly I turned away from Snape and Pomfrey to the mystery person next to me.  
  
"Potter?!" I yelped, shocked. Fuck, that hurt my head.  
  
"Hello to you to, Malfoy," he said. "I'm so glad you finally came to. You were out for nearly five days," he said trying, unsuccessfully to keep the relief from his voice.  
  
"Yes, well it does get a bit boring being unconscious for five days," I said wryly. "How'd i pass out anyhow? Surely i didn't lose that much blood," i asked innocently.  
  
"We were hoping you would be able to help us out on that. We know it wasn't from blood loss, although you did lose quite alot. But, beyond that, I cannot say," Madam Pomfrey said. "I did, however, find some sort of poison in your blood stream. Do you remember taking anything?" She asked sullenly. I started laughing.  
  
"Surely it cannot be that funny," Snape said. I could only continue laughing.  
  
"It- didn't-work" I said between burst of laughter.  
  
"What didn't work?" Snape inquired. I stopped laughing.  
  
"Your bloody killing drought. All it did was knock me out for about five days. Even when it was mixed with rubbing alcohol."  
  
"Rubbing alcohol?" Potter asked confused.  
  
"Yes. I mixed the drought and the alcohol together and coated the blade of my knife with it. From what I read of it, it should have killed me the moment it entered my blood system."  
  
"Yes. Yes, it should have. So why didn't it?" Snape asked sounding very distressed. I figured he was probably more upset about the fact his potion hadn't worked properly then the fact that I used it."  
  
"I don't know professor. Truthfully, it pisses me off that it didn't." I answered.  
  
"Well, I'm glad it didn't work," Potter said quietly.  
  
Everyone, including myself, stared at him. I was his hated fucking nemesis for seven bloody years. He was suppose to loathe me. Hate me with a bloody passion. He was supposed to WANT me dead. So why then. was he so happy that I wasn't?  
  
***Normal POV  
  
Draco was released from the hospital wing five days later. Harry had only stopped to see him twice since he had awoken, and both times it was very awkward. He just sat next to Draco's bed kind of staring off into space until Draco fell asleep. Once he thought he felt the golden boy reach over and remove a piece of hair from his face. Later he dismissed the idea and decided it was just part of his dream.  
  
"Draco!" A shrill voice cried. He stifled a groan as Pansy Parkinson came running over to him. Immediately she threw herself at him, clinging to him as though her life depended on it. He winced. The killing drought and the mixture of other potions Madam Pomfrey had given him had weakened him greatly. Aside from that it had made him feel as though every bone and muscle in his body was on fire. He defiantly preferred the Cructias curse to this. At least that pain went away after a while...  
  
"Hello Pansy," he said gruffly. He still didn't get why she hadn't stopped liking him when he started going out with Hermione. After all that WAS the reason he went out with her in the first place. Blaise was the only one who knew that Draco loved her. At least he had been before she died. Now Draco doubted whether there was anyone in the school who didn't know. And Pansy still liked him. Obviously some things would never change. "Did you want something, or just to torture me?" He snapped.  
  
"I was just sooooo worried about you," she said. "Do you want to skip class? We could go to Hogsmead instead. Or we could just stay in the Slytherin dorms, alone," she said, raising her eyebrows suggestively. He groaned.  
  
"I think I'll skip," 'and I would rather die then be alone with you' he added inwardly.  
  
"But Draco..." Pansy whined.  
  
"Look, I've been out of classes for the past eight days. I have alot of catching up to do. And the professors would kill me if i missed another day of class."  
  
"You could just say you still-"  
  
"I wouldn't have been released from the hospital wing unless Madam Pomfrey thought I was well enough to leave. That excuse won't work," he interrupted. Any ways i don't want to spend any more time with you then i have to," he said before stalking off to breakfast.  
  
"You'll regret ever saying that, Draco Malfoy," Pansy growled after him.  
  
***Draco's POV  
  
I had never felt so sick in my life. Pansy Parkinson had basiclly just asked to sleep with me. The thought alone made me want to gouge my eyes out. I shuddered whenever she talked to me. And when she touched me, well i could barely restrain the effort to barf.  
  
"What's wrong?" Blaise asked as I sat down heavily on the bench.  
  
"Pansy," I muttered. We both shuttered.  
  
"Say no more. I can't stand that slut either. You coming back to classes today?"  
  
"Yeah. What do we have first?"  
  
"Double potions. Awful way to start the morning in my opinion."  
  
"Perfect. At least it's something I don't have to concentrate on."  
  
"Yeah you and Hermione are the only ones."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"I said you and Hermione were the only ones who didn't have to concentrate on potions. What's wrong with you?" He asked. Apparently oblivious to the fact that Hermione was dead.  
  
"What's wrong with me?" I choked out. "What's wrong with me?" I asked my voice getting higher with each word.  
  
"Yeah. That is what I asked. You're acting all weird."  
  
"What the fuck is your problem? Do you not realize what you just said?" I yelled. The whole of the hall turned to start at us.  
  
"Dude, you don't need to cause a scene. Sorry if complementing you and your girlfriend is a bad thing. I'll never do it again. Where is she anyhow? I haven't seen her in awhile?" He asked. Making sure to keep his voice low so the only people who could hear him were the people sitting near us. They all gasped.  
  
"Never talk to me about Hermione again!" I yelled before jumping up and running out of the hall.  
  
I had no idea where I was running to. I just knew I wanted to put as much space between me and the Great Hall as possible. I didn't notice the room I had just ran into nor the thing on the floor. Until i tripped over it. I fell to the floor and curled up into a ball. Trying to take as little space as possible. Thinking maybe, if I tried hard enough I would disappear. My attempts were fruitless and soon I gave up hope on disappearing. Slowly I uncurled myself and looked around the room. It looked very familiar. I had been here recently. But this was apart of the school I never came into. But I had been here every day. For the past two weeks. Then it hit me. This was the room I visited in my dreams...  
  
"Malfoy?" A voice interrupted my thought. A voice I recognized as Potter's.  
  
"What do you want?" I snarled at him.  
  
"Well you left breakfast kind of quickly. And after that err... scene in the hall. I dunno, I was just wondering if anything was wrong."  
  
"I was NOT causing a scene!"  
  
"Then what was all the shouting for?"  
  
"Blaise, he's suppose to be my friend, my closest friend. But today in breakfast. He started talking about Hermione. I thought he would stop after a minute. Once he realized who he was talking about. But he didn't. He seemed to have forgotten that she's... i think he forgot what happened to her." I felt hot tears stream down my face, but for the first time i remember I didn't try and stop them. I just let them come.  
  
"Shh, everything will be alright. I'm sure its alot harder now that we know, how she... now that we know exactly what happened to her," Potter whispered comfortingly sitting down beside me. On the bright side, if it could even be considered that, I wasn't the only one who couldn't say out loud that Hermione was dead.  
  
"When? When will everything be alright?" I asked. It seemed impossible to me. To have things be alright again, after all that had happened.  
  
"In the end," he answered simply. "In the end everything will be alright."  
  
"Was everything alright for Hermione?"  
  
"Must have been. She died."  
  
"How could everything have been alright for her? She killed herself!"  
  
"In the end can be anytime, years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds before one dies. Maybe right before she left, she felt that things were good again. That she wouldn't have to suffer anymore."  
  
"But I love her," I whispered and fell into Potter's chest crying.  
  
"I know. I love her too. But there must be some comfort in knowing that she's happy again and that she doesn't feel the pain anymore," he said. Awkwardly he encircled his arms around me and began slowly rocking back and fourth. He whispered soothingly into my ear. I cried harder. I knew I was acting like I had when I was two. But for once I didn't care. It just felt good to be comforted by someone again. Someone who shared a pain close to mine. Even if it was Potter.  
  
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// a/n-short chapter i know but i felt lyk updating. I'm kind of ignoring this story because 1)more people seem to have read my other story 2)because I already ideas for about the next 10 chapters for my other story 3)my other story is less depressing at least right now... and 4)I'm not exactly sure where I am going with this story. I kind of just add to it whenever I get an idea. So 2 summarize that I find my other story more important/better then this. oll. ill update ASAP promise. o and please excuse the typing errors, most of this is being written somewhere between 2/3 in the morning in the darkness of my bedroom.  
  
mya  
  
please review if you want me to continue  
  
if you get bored read my other story 'I've Had Enough!' It's also a DM/HG 


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